Several children have disclosed that it is common to receive sexually explicit messages and nude images from adults on social media. “Everyone gets those pictures, it’s normal.”

This is sexual abuse and it might be very difficult for a child to recognise. Every child has the right to a safe and balanced growth and development. This can be supported by providing children with timely and evidence-based sexual education from an early age. Any adult who is present in a child’s everyday life can provide sexual education to the child.

Sexual education is about providing information. It is information about a child’s own body and its functions, about their boundaries and how to protect them, about asking/giving consent, about feelings and how to express them, about the diversity of sexuality, and about health. It is information that every child needs. Knowledge protects children, it does not increase their risk behaviour.

Sexual education does not prepare children for sex or sexual relationships, as may sometimes be feared. Adults should not view a child’s sexuality through the lens of their own sexuality: the sexuality of an adult and a child are different. Several things that are part of the sexuality of an adult, such as sex, are not part of a child’s sexuality.

Sexual education should always take into account the age and developmental level of the child. Not everything has to be told to a child. Often a short and truthful answer is enough to satisfy the child’s thirst for information. The child will seek an answer if they do not get it from the adult, but in this case the information may not be truthful. If the adult does not know the answer to the child’s question, this should be told to the child, but it is important to get back to the child. The adult should look for information, practise to talk about the issue, and answer the child’s question.

It is also important to teach the child how to be safe online – it is not something that comes naturally to them. People who want to sexually abuse children are where children are: on gaming forums, social media channels, and messaging apps. Children need to be told that messages complimenting the child’s body, asking about dating or sex, or asking for nude images should not be replied to and should always be reported to a parent or a trusted adult.

Communicating in a sexually explicit way or asking for or sending nude images to a child is always wrong and illegal. A child can never consent to sexual acts with an adult. It is important to understand that it is very difficult, sometimes impossible, for a child to know how to recognise sexual abuse online – especially if it has never been discussed with them. Staying silent does not protect a child from sexual abuse!

Be taught, be listened to, be supported, and be encouraged.

Children need to be told about their own boundaries and sexual integrity. Children need to be reminded to always disclose to a trusted adult about anything that worries them.

You can be the safe adult to the children close to you.

Maija Ikonen & Janita Tasa

Advisors

CSAPE2022-2024 – project, Save The Children Finland